nothing

today is nothing. i feel nothing and ive done nothing.
ok this is probably not entirely true. ive done somethings:
1. went out for a long late breakky with sean and amy at grind
2. i got chunky andrew a 21st present (mark, matt and kiggles you owe me $11. each, not collectively)
3. i made him a card that looks like this:

Kaptain Kite, arch nemesis of
Captain Triangle, says “Enjoy
Waffles and have a
Happy Buckin’ Firthday! ”






















4. i ate stuff
5. i sent tim the info he needed
6. i got petrol
7. had an argument with the librarian at charlestown library

i havnt however, done anything i actually intended to do:
1. my assignment to hand in tomorrow
2. read to catch up on uni stuff
3. watched spicks and specks that i taped last night
4. had a shower
5. done my washing
6. cleaned the kitchen for mum

i was so happy last night, i dont know what happened. i couldnt get to sleep tho, that never helps. plus, this morning i almost had a head on collision with a dickhead who thought they'd overtake a truck on my side of the road at 70km/h in a 40km/h zone (darby st).
the only other thing i wanted to do today was procrastinate. ticking that one off the list right now.

Wo is me!

Arrghhh, today i feel like crap.

It is my long day at uni and my brain hurts. I just want to lie down.
And I hate that I make spellling mistakes. ( OH, the irony).


ANyway,
Here is what is in my pencil case today.

• Two 'Stabilo Boss' highlighters : Yellow and Orange
• Two 16 cm Rulers : One Clear and one that is holographic with the bird from McDonalds rollerskating on it
• One blue Bic pen that always runs out.
• Two Papermate Kilometre blue pens - my favorites
  
• One flashly green-coloured, black-inked clicky pen
• A stabilo fine point black felt tip
• Three pencils: a red-coloured HB, 'Bubble Girl' pink covering on a HB, and a Faber-castell HB
• A black Artline medium 0.6 ( thicker than the felt tip)
• A Blue Papermate clicky-pen
• A bic four coloured pen : Blue, Black, Red and Green
  AND
• Two Crappy blu pens stolen from the dept. of Education ALA my stepmother.

What a happy day. Wo, is Me!

this is why my uni is dumb.
it is about 23 degrees outside, yet every building is airconditioned; the temperature of which is definietly under 20. sitting in a lecture theatre for 4 hours makes you cold due to lack of movement. added to this, air conditioning makes you colder. so i have to wear a jumper every tuesday in the 22+ degree heat and sweat my arse off outside so that i dont freeze INSIDE. possibly, this makes sense to someone, but after 13 years of catholic schooling where the norm was always freeze your arse off outside (because we are too cheap to build a hall) and sweat your arse off inside (because we are too cheap to air condition anyrooms but the staff room, office and computer rooms) i am confused.
procrastination over.

MUZZA!

I JUST GOT LOST IN TRANSLATION FROM JB HIFI FOR $12.99 DOWN FROM $37.99 MUZZA!

yet another sad post

Oh my god. this just made me so sad. i wish monty had never played that goddamn elton john dvd at work.

Blue Eyes

Blue eyes
Baby's got blue eyes
Like a deep blue sea
On a blue blue day
Blue eyes
Baby's got blue eyes
When the morning comes
I'll be far away
And I say

Blue eyes
Holding back the tears
Holding back the pain
Baby's got blue eyes
And she's alone again

Blue eyes
Baby's got blue eyes
Like a clear blue sky
Watching over me
Blue eyes
I love blue eyes
When I'm by her side
Where I long to be
I will see

Blue eyes laughing in the sun
Laughing in the rain
Baby's got blue eyes
And I am home, and I am home again

Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Gary Osborne
Available on the album Jump Up

you say you're still in love and it's true what can be done? It's hard to leave all these moments behind

I have to compose a body of work for my creative writing class. this is the problem one faces when electing creative writing classes at university. so i went hunting in my diary for poems that i have written previously, for to avoid writing any new ones.
this is the diary, which i began writing on my arrival home from germany in jan o4, but only began writing frequently in when i started going out with tim 6months later. subsequently, almost the entire journal is filled with feelings i had or have had, whilst not being allowed to any longer have them, for tim. it spans 24 months of my life.
anyway, i found 2 poems worthy of reworking and submission. whilst looking i found some entries (excerpts) which deserve reflection because, in the words of the shins, it is hard to leave all these moments behind. the blue writing is my thoughts/comments on the journal:

monday 27th june 05
He rang me yesterday and told me. He wanted to catch up, but we'll have to later on in the week. i'm not nervous anymore, but a little unwilling because every time i see him it undoes a part of me that i thought i'd sewn up, and it hurts. Now i'm thinking about him again.
...i don't really feel so distinctly. i hate it and i miss him so much.

sunday 3rd july 05 (2 days before mark's games night)
Tim messaged me to do something today. I rang him and said to go to newy beach cause it's sunny. he got there first. ha ha, i love that i wrote that. it cracks me up.
...i felt really close to him after being so far away for so long. NB: on the tuesday of mark's games night, it was exactly 5 months that we had been broken up. so i hadn't seen him for that long and was clearly so demented that i counted the amount of time for which we were broken up :p
we talked for ages. i ate his food. he still has his coffee black. when will someone be more perfect than him?

for those unaware, tim and i got back together about a week after mark's games night, four days after what would have otherwise been our 1year anniversary...or so i have written in the journal. this is a fact that i forgot immediately after writing it and im sure remains unknown to timothy. freaky tho.

5/10/05
Funny how i don't write about how sublimely happy i am...or not? maybe not, because i think writing is a therapy, not a record of chronological events. For the record however, i am so fucking happy, that i just said fuck.

ok so now the funny parts of the journal.
the first time i tried marajuana was infact 2 days 25-26th june 05 (yeah, late bloomer). we started a few hours before midnight on 25th to count down to amy's 21st on the 26th, but were so stoned that we forgot to keep counting and realised at 12.40ish that she was 21. lol. then we put the telly on and fell asleep quite content. on her birthday, at her after party someone pulled out a bong and we got into it again after drinking free beer and champers for the past 4 hours. this is what happened:
chaz greened out in the toilets of the northern star while others were doing shots. i was holding onto the had dryer pissing myself laughing at chaz.
random guy anthony the bottle opener drove us to loz's house this was infact the guy opening bottles at amy's very swish par-tay. he hit on my sister, so she said hey, DRIVE US HOME! but not before we got kebebs lol
jay and sean made out for ages cracking me and aimes up.
i rang todd at 1am REALLY gone. i dont even remember what was going on
loz and court passed out and i put phones in their mouths. it took me ages to work out what this meant, but i do remember me and aimes being VERY quiet so we didnt wake them, and the phones staying there for ages, cracking us up.
sean and jay gave me heaps of dares, all of which i did - including the phone-in-mouth one.
richard and sean spent about an hour sniffing my scarf, which did have the slight scent of my perfume, but was overcome by boy smell and ciggarettes cause jay had been wearing it (anywhere he could) for the last few hours.

oh my god that was so much fun. if youve put up with me for this long, ill let you critique my poetry.

On Saturday Afternoon

Wind-curls in my hair.
Gritty, tea-stained teeth.
It's sunny through the window,
I have new music
and i've never wanted to be
further from here.
Sock-eaten feet go cool
eyelids drag down and
my tea goes cold.
In a moment I'll be gone.
In a moment I'll be gone.


On Morning

Birds shriek in harmony.
Light lifts the corners of my curtains.
Distant alarms, motors;
Outside, my city is in motion.
Inside, my head is heavy.
Fading memories of nightdreams
crashing, slamming, pulling
breaking wakes me lately
forcing me into today. I stretch,
I sigh, I stand; ready for yesterday
again.



there you go. thankyou.

ye grapes

today is so hot
today i feel lazy and energized
today im annoyed, isolated, content, hungry, lethargic
today i count both 2 weeks and 4
today i noticed that thom yorke looks a lot like johnny rotton
today i had another debate about socio- political- economical issues
today i actually washed my washing
today i feel pressure
today i should read more
today i want to make scones
today my sinuses are playing up




Tender is the night, by and by your side
Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much
Tender is my heart, that's screwing up my life
(thanks again Damon)

Muzza!

Kate Murray < > Bill Murray
Hey maybe we are related????

drink me.

I want to drink some nice white wine.



But NO I can't because:
a) I am on medication

AND

b) My liver count was up.

No Alchol for 4-6 weeks. boo hoo.

BUt I do get to listen to Jens Lekman! Who I Love!
"Can you feel the beat of my heart....bom ba bom ba bom ba bom bom"

I dont want to do anything...

I really dont want to do anything. How boring, but when I do something my head hurts and my body aches. It is all sleeping at the moment and STRANGE and vivid dreams that have conversations in them that seem real.

Here is my sleeping explaination (what I sent my tutors):

I have post viral fatigue a result of having glandular fever. At the moment I am exhausted which makes it very difficult for me to come into university and/or concentrate.

BUT now! I am going to the movies tonight, ONE of my ALL time favorite things to do in the world! But the time have come to sleep before i see Broken flowers, yay... 6.35 at the regal if your interested.

how i wish

im getting to the point where i say, "god have i already blogged today?" and realise that i'm talking to myself not, in fact to any diety and am consoled by the fact that yes, i truely am insane. not just addicted.
i wrote a few stories today, so ill post them up here for critique. but now, my sexy, giraffe-necked, very tanned, very drunk boyfriend *mmmm giraffe neck*:

oh shit the photo button wont work. hang on...



oooh there is a very large photo of tim with a mo. and now tim as a lifesaver (left):



now, that's a much better size isn't it kids. ok here he is as VB ninja tim:



ok theyre big again. last one, over excited, drunken, lanky tim (my favourite):




oh man. photobucket is THE best website ever. i'd better mention to any outsiders that my boyfriend and i live 750kms apart and these photos are the first time i've seen him in 6 weeks; hence the over excitement on my behalf with posting them on my blog. "Yeah, but no but, SHUT UP HE'S HOT ANYWAY!"
i had the best idea for a present for tim today. todd and i are going to steal it on st patricks day and post it to him. ill document the action in photos and post it. it will be fuckin great.

I've been drinking
and I've been thinking of you
Now I know,
I know the snow will let me know,
I been trying
but I've been lying to you,
Now I know,
I know the time will get me through.

But any time I let you know
it's just a time to let me know
what it's all about

Rain falls for wind
You're only ever on my mind
Rain falls for wind
You're only ever on my mind

I've been drinking
and I've been thinking of you
Now I know,
I know the snow will let me know,

Rain falls for wind
You're only ever on my mind
Rain falls for wind
You're only ever on my mind
Rain falls for wind
You're only ever on my mind
You never ever have the time
When I see you smile

Rain falls for wind
You're only ever on my mind
You never ever have the time
When I see you smile

yeah *clears throat*

thanks luoke. i needed that today.

and fucking awesome movies.

we got a new dvd player and it works. and it records *excitement*

wes is fucking awesome.

if my life was a movie, he would direct it.

i would play me. greta sacchi could be my mum.

adam brody would be tim. tim reckons the kooee girl would be court.

ashlee simpson would be asha. mel gibson could be my dad.

ok so my cast is crap (well the last three are, greta is tops. and me and adam are hot)

but i have a fuckin awesome director.

and i would make the soundtrack rock.

so ive reaquainted my love with thom york and his fantabulous band. the love was always there. it never left. i just ignored it while he wasnt present. funny how life imitates art and then other times (when i would be perfectly happy for it to do so) it doesnt.

im making no sense to any of you who may be reading this. i do apologise. im so incredibly tired. i would have had to have gone to sleep yesterday at midday and wake up tomorrow at 8 in order to catch up on the amount of sleep ive lost over the last few weeks. i love sleep. lack of it makes me want to spew. too much of it makes me sleepy. its a cruel world in which we live.

i took some really cool photos last wednesday while incredibly drunk at the brewser and custos. ill put them up as soon as i get them off my camera. my computer is stuffing up tho which sucks. not as much as the fact that my fucking dvd player decided last saturday that it would no longer open. thus stopping me from watching any dvds on the comfy lounge. pooey technology.

right. im off to:
eat loads of roast veggies with gravy
avoid sleep so i can read
watch a movie on dads lap top in my bed
eat my home-made apple pie covered in home-made baileys (cause theres no custard)
try ringing kate again
have fun with grammar for my class tomorrow (im a nerd, i love grammar)
check blackboard
call my dog by her real name, dirty pirate hooker

are you fracturing? are you torn at the seams? would you do anything?

you know when you have heard a song a thousand times and then all of a sudden you hear it again, but this time there's something there. you notice every movement, every intricate complexity of the sound, the hummmmm of the bass and the thump-ting of the piano and you realise, this is a bloody masterpiece. that just happened to me at 8.33 this morning after owning the cd since its release in 2003. all i have to say is fuck yeah

carrie bradshaw knows good sex*

you lovers look ugly when you're apart
but together you're very good looking